Sometimes I feel like a crazy person, utterly insane, with all of the things going through my mind. These past few months have really pushed me to my limits and while it was packed with some good things (yay marriage!) it was also the time that I lost my marbles.
On any given weekday I am out of the house for a full 12 hours and the only time I am home I am completely exhausted from it all. I bit off more than I could chew and while those not so close to me may have only seen the minor effects (loose papers, scattered memory, moody broody attitude), those closest to me have cautiously poked me with a stick and told me to settle down. The tipping point was when a student said (viciously, I might add) that she basically paid me to get married this semester .. whoa man.
Life happens. Weddings happen. So do bad moods and hurt feelings.
I felt utterly betrayed, almost enraged at the thought that I could pour myself so passionately into my work and be left with a snide remark like that one. Then I stopped my angry-train and did a mini-scan session to realize what was really going on. What did I find?
First, I've worked myself too thin. To the point where no blog comments send me into an existential question of what-am-I-doing-here and comments like that send me into a rage. This is not right and does not make me a better Professor, wife, daughter, friend, or blogger.
Next, and this one hurts the most, but that student was right. I'm fortunate enough to be in a position that I work full time with benefits and so if I take some time off then I still get paid every other week. So though I don't get paid for a particular class that I miss (that part of my job is contractual) I am still okay enough to take time off and then pick up where I left off.
What hurt more is that even with this fairy tale viewpoint, I was so stretched to the max that my work suffered, even with me pouring my heart into it.
So it's time I take my own advice and take a break. A serious break.
And for what it's worth, I did accomplish a lot these past few months: a wedding, a job promotion, taught three classes at the community college, and (mostly) kept up with this blog and Instagram.
And I'm not the only one. I bet every single one of you superstars are accomplishing lots of cool stuff (maybe too much) and you need a break too! Give yourself some major credit and then park your tushie in a plush chair and kick back ..
Who's with me? Who is ready for some serious r&r?!